I’m no spring chicken. The same arthritis that ate up my left hip that finally got replaced hasn’t stopped there… And touring is a lot of work. I’m impressed when I see people like Eric Clapton out there. Gee whiz, Eric, give me a break! I know it’s gotta hurt somewhere.
It’s that time of year again. A moment during 365 days where I contemplate more than just my day-to-day. If you’ve followed me for awhile, and even more so followed me on social media you know that I typically speak about my health issues in a matter of frank honesty, but with an air of “it is what it is.” There’s a million reasons for that, but mostly it’s just the truth. When you have multiple chronic illnesses that make theirselves known on a daily basis, it’s not healthy, productive, or worth it to sit there and complain or talk about how “unfair” it is. Ya know what, yeah, I wish that I didn’t have them, but the cards you are dealt in life are for a reason. I may not believe in any kind of higher power, but I wholeheartedly believe choices and events in your life are linked together. I believe that changing one thing about what has brought me to where I am today would have caused me to not have or be precisely what I am/have today. And that alone makes it easier to adopt a “it is what it is” mantra.
I’m damn happy with where my life is today. I’m marrying my best friend and love of my life in 4 months. I have a job that I genuinely enjoy waking up to go to every day. I have friends and family I would drop anything for if needed. I am relatively healthy (as in, I function every day and it’s not life-threatening). So when I reflect on my health issues, my diseases, and answer the question of if I wish I had been dealt different cards? No. I don’t. My health is part of me, a very large part of me, but still just a part. To change any of those other parts would be heartbreaking, and I believe in the connectivity of each facet of a person’s life.
I didn’t intend to get that deep and philosophical, but it’s such an interesting question people ask when they learn you have a couple incurable diseases. “Don’t you wish you had a different life?;” “It would be nice if you could go back in time and change everything so that you didn’t get sick.” That’s all well and good, but what about everything else? If I have to be sick and have health issues in order to have exactly all of the other things in my life, then I wouldn’t change one damn thing.
Short little blog update of a stream of consciousness, but it felt important to note that not all people with multiple chronic diseases are unhappy with their lot in life. That sounds weird and maybe masochistic, but I think it bears noting that my life is a culmination of good, bad, ugly, beautiful. And that alone is pretty damn lucky.